As a spiritual seeker when I started my Journey, I was advised to speak less, less conversation and contact with people. Though I read these instructions in other spiritual books too and thought I understood it very well, but no, my lesson was not complete. Because my superficial mind understood it , but the real meaning did not go deeper within me, until events in continuation shook me up and brought me better perception of this one important rule of spiritual journey, that why it is important to spend time with self and avoid unnecessary conversations as well as contacts.
It was a good sunny Thursday. Due to grace of my guru i was up early and fresh. I was having my fast for Guruvar, like every other Thursday i did my puja and planned to go out to the market for some shopping of daily household things. But I had no idea that this small trip to the market will take my whole day. Since the time i had left my place, time had passed me over as if it was just few seconds but it was hours since i was out of my place. Yes!!! My home, the comfortable energy zone for me is developed, over a period of regular practice.
I choose to walk to the shopping place since its really rare to have such sunny afternoon here in my cold city. the walk was so amazing that i was feeling so happy and content that I started my chanting by my own, I didn’t give much thought to it because i thought it was normal to feel like chanting during my walk, actually I had come out of my house after a month or two, so kind of had almost lost the memories of how I use to feel during walk, but suddenly I had a nod in my head and it reminded me that earlier it use to be pretty difficult for me to chant while doing other activities but today it was surreal.
This was nothing but the energy vibration which I had accumulated due to the grace of my guru and jaap was helping the nature to help me in continuation in my jaap for my protection, as I had no idea what is coming next for me. But divine energy knows all! This was explained to me the next day by my guru’s other disciple. I could not understand the explanation in its complete sense, since it was too much of Science for my human brain who only understand in avengers and Spider man but fails to understand the science of universe and nature.
After a long walk of 30 min i had reached to this place where lot of farmer’s keeps their stalls with vegetable, fruits, food, coffee and many more. It was a lot crowded unlike any other Thursday Or maybe that’s what i felt like, since i was out after a long time. I bought some fruits and vegetable for my place and went ahead to the mall right behind this market. I was supposed to meet my husband over there who was waiting for me, i thought he must be tired waiting for me but by now he knew me and my timing so somehow he had his friend to accompany him. The friend was very much like any other guy and friendly. He shared his great knowledge about travelling, work and other normal topics. When chat got over and saying bye to friend, we went to the grocery store, and i felt as my mind is little lost and I was running to the same section over and over again even though i had checked everything. Time was flying and so do my energy. After my husband asking me for 100 times to leave, I did get out of the shop and went to the bus stop. We were having a good laugh and suddenly i asked him the time and it was evening 8. i was shocked because when i had left my house it was pm in the afternoon and i couldn’t believe it was 8 hours since I was out without much visible work. We somehow reached home by bus. Inside the bus i was feeling a bit sick but i thought its because of the motion sickness i have.
The moment we got out of the bus I felt so tired that as if the tiredness of 8 hours was dropped on my shoulder right now. I was having difficulties lifting my each feet to walk. I was badly tired and then my breath became very heavy. By the time i came near my house i had to breathe with my mouth open and my head had started playing the drums. i couldn’t even move myself to find the keys and it was hard as hell to believe for my husband who had just shared a conversation of laughter with me. But for me noting really mattered because i had no strength at all. Till the time I entered my house, my headache was blasting as if my each vessel in my body was about to explode, i directly went inside my room and lied down on my bed, still i was in no ease, the pain was increasing every mini second. My husband was trying to help me but i just wanted him to disappear because every sound was a pain for me, every movement was an increase in my pain, i even yelled on him for nothing. Though I was shocked that why am i reacting like this but unable to have control over myself. Meanwhile i was trying to figure out the reason of pain but couldn’t understand any of it because my head was on verge to explode. i was not able to keep my phone around me didn’t knew the reason but no electronics, every electronic items were increasing my pain, the pain was so much that i couldn’t do my evening set of jaap, and finally after pleading to Maa Adishakti and my guru, I just slept.
When and how did i sleep, is still a question for me because it was hardly evening by then!!! Anyways so the next morning was quite early, i mean really very early, it was about 2:30 AM in the morning i was freshly up and updated my status to one of disciple about what had happen but she avoided to explain me, maybe she knew that the ride wasn’t over as yet.
A Devotee
CONTINUE READING part 2
